You Think It Should Matter- But It Doesn't
"As is often the case, the best advise I ever received came from a drunken, bitter man with a patently ridiculous soul patch. It has been said that you are only as old as you feel, and if that is indeed true- this 27 year old surfer doofus was approximately 146. And what he taught me was this: You think it should matter, but it doesn't.
I was semimadly in love with a woman who lived 800 miles away, in Minneapolis, and I'd heard a rumor that she had begun casually dating another man. This was predictably vexing, and I felt my only recourse was to go nuclear. Her birthday was October 16, and I suspected her new paramour might giver her flowers. My plan was to send her two dozen long-stemmed roses; this way, even if the New Guy went for the jugular and gave her a dozen of his own, his gift would suddenly be dwarfed by the monolithic magnitude of my romantic gesture. So this is what I did. And the night before they arrived at her desk, I met this 146 year old punk in a bar and asked him if he thought this move was brilliant or pathetic.
"Neither", he replied. "If she likes you, she'll think it was the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for her; if she doesn't like you, it will totally freak her out. And if you sent her nohthing, that wouldn't matter, either. If she likes you, she'd find your indifference appealing and powerful; if she doesn't, your indifference would simply validate her belief that you're not the person she should be with.
"So give her everything or giver her nothing. You think it should matter, but it doesn't. "
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